Do Women talk more than men do? Fact or Fiction?

A popular myth and brunt of jokes is that women are the talkers; women talk more than men do. We hear terms such as Chatty Cathy or yakkity - yak when referring to women and how they can go on and on.

Actually, men get the floor more often, and when they get it, theykeep it longer. Women are also the recipients of more interruptions. One of the most extensive studies was conducted by linguists Don Zimmerman and Candace West (1975) , which demonstrated that men interrupted women much more than they interrupted other men and far more often than women interrupted either men or women (96 percent, compared with 4 percent). This conversational inequality has been slowly changing. There is new evidence that women are providing support to other women when they are interrupted, often saying something like, “ I ’ d like to hear the rest of her idea. ” In addition, rather than becoming silent when men interrupt them, more women are becoming assertive and requesting to finish (Bate, 1992 ). Mindell (1995) suggests that women build a repertoire of “ polite ways to say shut up. ” These are some of her recommendations:

Please . . .
Just a moment . . .
I’ m not finished . . .
Kindly hold the remarks till I' m done .. (p. 105).
Additional strategies might include, “ I would like to finish without interruption ” or “ John, I am almost done, please let me finish. ”

A final variable that affects who talks more is overlapping. Overlapping is when one person talks over another person; two people are talking at the same time. Bate says the motivation for men’s tendency to overlap is related to the viewpoint of“ dominance and power ” . In contrast, when women overlap, it usually serves the purpose of supporting or expressing interest. Women seldom overlap to assert control, but rather to build relationship and connection, revealing a more cooperative approach to conversation rather than a competitive one. Taken together, these variables contribute to women speaking less than men do. Some say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress, you know that the fi libuster was invented by men. At your next Monday morning staff meeting, take notice.
Who is really doing more of the talking? Who is getting more of the airtime: men or women?

*Taken from Audrey's new book (co-author) The Gender Communication Handbook: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women.

Browse the archives of Audrey’s 2006 to date- Smart Talk Columns on her web! Simply visit www.audreynelson.com and click on “Newsletters.”