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October 2016 Newsletter

Who is Audrey?

Audrey's Blog

Audrey Nelson PhD. is an international trainer, key-note speaker, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication. strategies.

You can reach Audrey at
or at 303.448.1800 O -  303-448-1801 F - 303.448.1802 C

Audrey is co-chair of the Diversity and Employee Relations PDG for Mile High SHRM.

SHRMSHRM is a preeminent and globally recognized HR professional society whose leadership, perspective, resources and expertise are sought and utilized to address the most pressing, current and emerging human resource management issues. Mile High SHRM is a Mega Chapter with a 1,000 membership.

Smart Talk

The HR Training Conundrum:
Should There Be Training for All Women Groups?

Since the 1980s when the “birth” of the women’s seminar was pervasive across the country, HR professionals and organizational experts have questioned the value and validity of this demographic specialty training. I was hired by the largest seminar company in the US to design two women’s seminars and train the trainers. Titles of the programs included:

Assertiveness Training for Women
Image and Self Projection
Taking Charge

Women got together and shared their respective battles of dealing with a male dominated workplace and the good ole boy network. Tales from the trenches were full of gory details of inequities and harassment. At times it seemed overwhelming. How were organizations ever going to realize the talent and potential of their full workforce? Certainly talking to other women instead of men who hold the power positions seemed to be a part of the solution.

Now women have been a viable and larger percentage of the workforce for the last thirty years. So the question becomes, should we be engaging men in these trainings that deal with women’s issues? Maybe getting men involved helps broaden the scope and lens of women’s continuing struggle for a seat at the table and to permeate the 85% of male CEO positions of Fortune 500 companies.

There are some role models and case studies of what it looks like to incorporate men in the discussion. Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce, conducted a gender pay audit at his company. He spent millions righting his company when he found discrepancies and prompted other industry titans to examine their payroll.
And how about Bradley Cooper announcing he would fight the pay equity issue by sharing what he was making on a film with female co-stars before they signed their contracts.

When I consult with organizations on these issues I observe the “working professional spouse” and “daughter effect” on male executives. These men were more on board for the fight for equity and attuned to women’s rights issues.

While I believe there are huge benefits to all women training, I also think men need to be a part of the discussion.

Did you miss one of the Smart Talk Columns?
Browse the archives of Audrey’s 2006 to date- Smart Talk Columns on her web! Simply visit and click on “Newsletters.

psy today

Have you checked out
Audrey’s blog?

Are Women Queen Bees?

Click for article

WOW! Did you know Audrey is the gender communication blogger for Psychology Today? Check out her monthly blog postings. Take a look at her statistics:

7 Days:2,829

30 Days: 12,181

90 Days: 37,635

All Time: 670,942

Audrey's Travels

Audrey with a participant of Pioneer Natural Resources in Dallas.

Audrey presented A Women’s Guide to Leadership to Vectra Bank.


Audrey recently presented He Speaks, She Speaks: What Different Things They Say to HAVI Global Solutions Chicago, IL- an international company that provides packaging expertise, marketing and business analytics, supply chain services, promotions management, and recycling and waste solutions.

Sound Bites

sound bitesWomen and the Split-Ear Advantage

Listening is a part of the female job description and the key component in facilitating interpersonal relationships. A woman hears the verbal message just as a man would, but she is also reading between the lines to intercept feelings. That's her socio-emotional ear. She evaluates facial expressions, voice, gestures, and posture-the whole repertoire of nonverbal behavior-and draws conclusions from these, as well as from the other person's words. Women's ability to manage the flow interaction, to really listen and hear what people say, and to gather information from others in a non-threatening way is a strength and a part of the social maintenance women perform on a daily basis. .

What People are saying about Audrey

Thank you so much for coming to HAVI.  I really enjoyed the Day 2 deep dive.  I learned several key takeaways that I will implement right away.  The pyramid style speaking will really help me.

Have a safe flight!
Ann Utterback  Vendor Integration Manager, ITO

Love this course am hoping you have chosen my question!!
So far questions are great!
Valerie Oppenhimer

Great message today!  Thank you! 

  1. Women’s Intuition –  Women pay more attention to moods, likes/dislikes, etc.
  2. Emotional Endurance at Work – Don’t let your emotions dictate your behavior / Keep emotions in check – Let it out at ‘Home’
  3. The Trick Question – Tag Question…’I need the report tomorrow.  Can you do it?’ – Must speak in declarative sentences – be assertive and direct.
  4. Women and the Split-Ear Advantage – Listening while evaluating facial expressions, voice, gestures, and posture, etc.
  5. Most Asked Questions About Gender Communication – How and why do men/women communicate the way they do…is it nature or nurture?
  6. A Paradigm for Understanding How Men and Women Communicate – Women are indirect, what’s the process, interdependent, and by feeling instead of, as men do, by being direct, having a goal, being independent, and based on content.
  7. Don’t Qualify it!  Just Say it! – Women use qualifiers.  “Well, no”; “It’s time to go, I guess”; “It seems to me” should not be used in your conversation.
  8. Men and Women in Conflict:  The Roles She Plays:  Taking care of others; Taking a backseat; Acting dumb; Being the power behind the throne; Suffering silently; Place nice; Waiting to be saved; Being seen, not heard; Sacrificing yourself for others; Being a people pleaser; Not rocking the boat; and Keeping and making the peace.
  9. Fear of Success Syndrome and How it Holds Women back – Success in work world conflicts with femininity – The need to have approval and affiliation.
  10. The Crying Game:  The Pre-Cuing Technique – Men and women accuse women of playing crying game; a man’s level of discomfort skyrockets as the tears flow.  Are women using tears as emotional blackmail or because she’s weak or emotional.
  11. Code Switching:  Balancing Masculine and Feminine Styles – Best to use a combination of the masculine and feminine style.
  12. Go Home and Put on Some Clothes:  Has Casual Friday Gone Over the Top? – Remember that you communicate a lot by your dress!  We do still ‘judge a book by its cover’!

Mary Nichols I Sr. Executive Assistant
Vectra Bank

Audrey's Books

The Gender Communication Handbook –
Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women


The Gender Communication Handbook is for anyone who works with the opposite sex. If you are a part of a management team, in HR, or develop corporate training, this book is a comprehensive guide filled with smart advice, extensive research, self-assessments, and compelling true-to-life case studies. More

Code Switching –
How to Talk so Men will Listen

Code Switching

Code Switching  is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. - More

You Don’t Say – Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes


You Don't Say is the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication — and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve — or impair — our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace.

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"


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