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May 2016 Newsletter

Who is Audrey?

Audrey's Blog

Audrey Nelson PhD. is an international trainer, key-note speaker, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication. strategies.

You can reach Audrey at
or at 303.448.1800 O -  303-448-1801 F - 303.448.1802 C

Audrey is co-chair of the Diversity and Employee Relations PDG for Mile High SHRM.

SHRMSHRM is a preeminent and globally recognized HR professional society whose leadership, perspective, resources and expertise are sought and utilized to address the most pressing, current and emerging human resource management issues. Mile High SHRM is a Mega Chapter with a 1,000 membership.

Smart Talk

You Can't Read a Person Like a Book, But Nonverbal Communication Counts!

Years ago I taught a 40 hour class at Southwestern College on Nonverbal Communication. For me, it has always been one of the most interesting parts of the communication process and was the topic of my first book You Don't Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes (2004 Prentice Hall). It is such a popular topic; the book went into a second printing and six languages.

One of the biggest misnomers is people think you can "read a person like a book." You can't. There is simply no dictionary of meaning of nonverbal gestures, postures, positions, facial expressions, hand gestures and personal space! That said, nonverbals cannot be ignored. They need to be interpreted within the context of the communication including what the person is saying and the physical context. All of these variables combined help the receiver give meaning to the communication.

Lookout for inconsistencies-when a verbal communication does not match the nonverbal. The speaker is saying a serious message with a smile. When in doubt, always go with the nonverbal cue. In this case, the smiling speaker may not be serious about their message or may be smiling to mitigate an important, critical point. However, if a speaker is sending mixed messages, open ended questions come in handy to check out the intent of the speaker. Again, for this situation, a possible inquiry about the smile with a serious message, might be, "This sounds serious but your smiling?" That will trigger an explanation.

Did you miss one of the Smart Talk Columns?
Browse the archives of Audrey’s 2006 to date- Smart Talk Columns on her web! Simply visit and click on “Newsletters.

psy today

Have you checked out
Audrey’s blog?

How Women and Men Interpret Unspoken Messages

Click for article

WOW! Did you know Audrey is the gender communication blogger for
Psychology Today? Check out her monthly blog postings. Take a look at her statistics:

7 Days: 2,637

30 Days: 13,196

90 Days: 37,979

All Time: 598,392

Audrey's Travels

brocadeAudrey conducted a program at Brocade and sat in the "red chair."

The National Center for Women in Information Technology has a Red
Chair – Sit With Me Campaign. Sometimes you have to sit to take a stand. Sit With Me invites you to validate and recognize the important role women play in creating  future technology by taking a small but symbolic action: sit in a red chair and share your story. Pull up a chair and listen to stories from others; men, women, technical and non-technical, as they sit in the red chair.

Sound Bites

sound bitesBalancing Masculine and Feminine Styles

Does it ever seem that men are speaking in code and you're on the outside?
Do they shut you down or ignore you when you speak? Perhaps you're speaking in
code, too—a different code. Men and women DO have unique communication styles that don't always mesh well. Code Switching offers a way of "reaching across the aisle" to open the lines of communication.

What People are saying about Audrey

Hi Audrey,
I don’t know if you remember me from Western Union in the front row with the broken ankle, but no matter.  I am compelled to tell you that thanks to your inspirational speaking and my admiration for yoyo I have joined WU Toastmasters (Speaking for Better.)

And, here is the big news, I applied for a Sr. Trainer position which required me to give a 15-20 minute presentation to upper management.  I hope you don’t mind I mentioned you as my inspiration and why I would love to be a trainer. 

I was well received and have only heard good feedback.  I have no idea at this time if I made the cut but since I got to the second interview phase I want to thank you for what you do.  And your encouragement, inspiration, mentorship and intelligence.  I am still awed by your Doctorate degree in communication….

Kudos to you, I wish you all the best always.

Kind Regards,
Alahna Pacifico

Alahna Pacifico
Sr. Specialist
Global AML Compliance
Western Union

Hi Audrey,
It was such a pleasure seeing you and having you speak to our wonderful group here at Brocade again. I’ve received wonderful feedback and the team absolutely loved you and your presentation.
Again, such a treat to have you and hope you enjoyed your time with us as well.

Warmest Regards,
Alyssa Maiello
Sales Operations Analyst – NorCal, DCD Central
4 Brocade Pkwy Broomfield, CO 80021

Audrey's Books

The Gender Communication Handbook –
Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women


The Gender Communication Handbook is for anyone who works with the opposite sex. If you are a part of a management team, in HR, or develop corporate training, this book is a comprehensive guide filled with smart advice, extensive research, self-assessments, and compelling true-to-life case studies. More

Code Switching –
How to Talk so Men will Listen

Code Switching

Code Switching  is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. - More

You Don’t Say – Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes


You Don't Say is the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication — and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve — or impair — our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace.

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"


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