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August 2015 Newsletter		audreynelson.com \| thegendercommunicationhandbook.com \|codeswitching

Who is Audrey?

Audrey Live

Audrey Nelson PhD. is an international trainer, key-note speaker, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication strategies.

You can reach Audrey at audrey@audreynelson.com
or at 303.448.1800 O - 303-448-1801 F - 303.448.1802 C www.audreynelson.com

Smart Talk

Are Women the Sorry Sex?
How Apologies Function for Her

A common question I receive from participants in my seminars, is "why do women always apologize?" And, "how should I apologize?" How do apologies function for women and does it jeopardize her credibility? That is the question.

First, women tend to do the social maintenance; they take care of people and relationships. Anyone, ever met an office mom? However, upon closer examination, the apology may be anything but. Here is the paradox and mitigating factors:

Women want to make themselves less obtrusive when they speak up. Forgive me for being a person who does have personal space which you are currently invading. Women have a lower threshold of what they consider offensive and, consequently, they see a need for more apologies in everyday situations. "Excuse me, I am sorry, but this is the only seat" for the person invading her space and elbowing her.
An apology can also be passive-aggressive. An apology could be a small act of revolt. At 3 am in the morning, she yells out her window, "I am sorry, could you turn down your music."
Women often want to help the other person save face. When someone fails to provide the quarterly report, she will take responsibility for their behavior, although the person knew well in advance, " I should have reminded you about the quarterly report, I am sorry."

The sorry is taking up air time that can be replaced by logical declarative statements and expressing opinions. When you do apologize (and examine carefully if the situation REALLY calls for an apology), say it once. That is enough. Move on. Go forward. A statement of remedy always demonstrates responsibility.

Did you miss one of the Smart Talk Columns?

Browse the archives of Audrey’s 2006 to date- Smart Talk Columns on her web!
Simply visit www.audreynelson.com and click on “Newsletters.”

Audrey's Travels

Audrey presented her keynote, "It's Not About You" at the Emory Conference Center in Atlanta for The Litigation Management College.

Audrey presented Victors without Victims to a group at Seagate Technology.

Society of Human Resource Management State Conference
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
10:30 am to 11:45 am
Keystone Resort

Audrey's program,
What Organizations Need to Know About Women Leaning In: Women and Leadership
was competitively selected for SHRM-CO conference.
More information and register: www.coshrm.org

Audrey will be traveling to six countries presenting her new topic Women in Leadership: Communication, Credibility and Power

Click here to learn more

Audrey's Blog

Have you checked out Audrey’s blog?

When Love Goes Bad at the Office - Click for article

Sound Bites

Women and Emotional Endurance at Work
• Audrey is a long-distance altitude hiker.
• Single most critical skill to her success on the trail is endurance.
• physical endurance has to do with emotional endurance
more.... . ..watch

Did You Know Audrey began her training career with the largest seminar company in the US? Twenty eight years ago Audrey was making dinner and received a call at home from Fred Pryor, the founder of Fred Pryor Seminars. He had sent out "talent scouts" to various conferences for the purpose of recruiting speakers and Audrey was discovered when she was a speaker for a Denver women's conference. Fred hired Audrey to design, train other speakers and present two women's seminars. One was titled, "Taking Charge." Today Fred Pryor is the largest public seminar company in the US.

What People are saying about Audrey

Hi Audrey,

Thank you for the informative and engaging session today-A Woman's Guide to Leadership! I look forward to reading your books and exploring how I can further my communication skills on my climb to leadership!

Best,
Jamie Alford
Program Manager
Learning & Talent Management
DTCC Boston

Litigation Management College, Atlanta, June 2015
Thanks Audrey. We will let you know the dates of next year’s program as soon as it is confirmed.
We always appreciate your time and talent and look forward to seeing you next year.

Helen
Helen Johnson Alford
Alford & Bolin, LLC
224 Dauphin Street
Mobile, AL 36602

Thanks Audrey. Everyone enjoyed the sessions immensely. Already looking forward to next year.

Regards, Rich
Richard K. Traub
Traub Lieberman Straus & Shrewsberry LLP
322 Highway 35 South
First Floor Red Bank, New Jersey 07701

Audrey –

You did a fantastic job this morning. Our ERG Leads have been hearing positive feedback from all over the world today. I am happy to write a testimonial for you. To hold you over, here are comments from today’s audience. We had roughly 375 attendees, however the reach of your message extends far beyond them. I’ve had many people ask me when we will send the replay out!

“Great Presentation”
“Awesome session!”
“I hope this is being recorded and made mandatory for our leaders”
“Thank you so much for having Audrey as a speaker. She identified so many key points I studied in Sociology a long time ago. It’s wonderful to have this difficult topic within a business environment”

There is a thirst for this insight and a deep appetite for applying communication techniques throughout our business. You’ve given us knowledge and direction, and our panelists re-enforced their support of getting us there. On behalf of the Level 3 Women and our extended audience, we sincerely thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. I will look through your leadership workbook and provide feedback and next steps.

Thank you.
Kari Tewalt
Level 3

Audrey's Books

The Gender Communication Handbook – Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women
	The Gender Communication Handbook is for anyone who works with the opposite sex. If you are a part of a management team, in HR, or develop corporate training, this book is a comprehensive guide filled with smart advice, extensive research, self-assessments, and compelling true-to-life case studies. More

Code Switching – How to Talk so Men will Listen
	Code Switching is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. - More

You Don’t Say – Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes
	You Don't Say is the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication — and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve — or impair — our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace.

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"

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