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November 2014 Newsletter

Smart Talk
Who is Audrey?

Media Blitz

The Importance of "Face" in Everyday Communication:
The Things People Say
Part 1

In everyday communication we have our face on the line. What exactly is face?  Face is a communicator's claim to be seen a certain way; the positive social value a person claims for herself or himself. There are two dimensions of face:

1. Positive Face: a person's desire to gain approval from others. There are two components: (A) need to be included and (B) need to be respected.
2. Negative Face: refers to the desire to have autonomy and not be controlled by others.
Face is important and can be potentially threatened in everyday interaction and, subsequently, can lead to conflict.  The question is, how do people lose face? Here are pointers to remember that may help in managing conflicts:

People lose face when their identity claims are challenged or ignored by others. I had firsthand experience with this when a female participant in one of my seminars referred to my assigned chapter readings from one of my books on gender as a "throw back to the sixties." Ouch! My first thought was, "Wow, she could have provided feedback in a hundred others ways than this defensive creating, face losing style." Ironically, she went on to incorporate the very speech patterns I mentioned in my chapter. Oh, did I mention she said this in front of the entire group? My face was threatened on two fronts: (1) my expertise with 35 years of study, research, training, publications, etc in gender and (2) I am a boomer.

"Throw back to the sixties" implied my points were out dated and no longer viable.  Certainly, at that moment, I did not feel she respected me or recognized my identity as a gender expert.

Part 2 In December's newsletter will address how face-saving affects issues in conflict, what forms does face-saving take in conflict interactions and how face giving can mitigate loss of face.

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Simply visit and click on “Newsletters.”

Audrey Nelson PhD. is an international trainer, key-note speaker, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication strategies.

You can reach Audrey at
or at 303.448.1800 O -  303-448-1801 F - 303.448.1802 C

Audrey Live!!

SHRMMark your calendar for Jan 23, 2015!
Audrey is conducting a competitively selected session, Smart Talk: Women, Leadership and Communication
Mile High SHRM 2015 HR Conference

Denver Marriott Tech Center
4900 South Syracuse St
Learning & Development Track Session from 1:30 to 2:30 pm.
Register and more information:
2015 HR Conference - - Click here to learn more!!

Audrey will be traveling to six countries presenting her new topic Women in Leadership: Communication, Credibility and Power Click here to learn more

Audrey Nelson August 22, 2014
Gossip at Work and Home
Everyday Talk Show - Fox 31
KDVR-TV, Denver
Click here for segment

Audrey presented
Ouch! That Hurts: Dealing with Difficult People
September 9, 2014

Sound Bites

sound bitesThe Most Asked Questions About Gender Communication


• Are there individual differences as well as gender differences?
• Who acts as though they're responsible for effective gender communication, women or men?
- watch

psy today

Have you checked out Audrey’s blog?

Leading the Way Up the Corporate Ladder : The Woman Boss versus the Male Boss

Click for article


Don't miss this!
byu radio

Audrey was interviewed about gender communication for BYU, The Matt Townsend Show.
Click here for interview

audrey nelson

Audrey was interviewed by Clearly Influential with Sandy Donovan. This podcast is published on iTunes and Stitcher Radio. Audrey answered questions regarding influence, human behavior, communication and relationships as it relates to business. Click here for interview.

Audrey was just interviewed about eye contact behavior for Details magazine. Details is an American monthly men's magazine published by Condé Nast, founded in 1982 by Annie Flanders. Though primarily a magazine devoted to fashion and lifestyle, Details  also features reports on relevant social and political issues. The issue with the interview will be posted when published.

What People are saying about Audrey

Thanks for your participation in the LMC again this year.  The students very much enjoyed your presentation.  I loved your response to the question about the fist bump – that was classic. 

James Scott Kreamer
Baker Sterchi Cowden & Rice LLC
2400 Pershing Road, Suite 500
Kansas City, MO 64108

Thanks Audrey.    I am amazed each year at how you hold LMC attendee’s attention that last hour before they are rushing to catch a plane and head home.   They always stay engaged until the end!

Helen Johnson Alford
Alford, Bolin, LLC
224 Dauphin Street
Mobile, AL 36602

 Hi Audrey,
I wanted to personally thank you for the fantastic “Dealing With Difficult People” talk you gave today at DaVita. It was educational and motivating. I look forward to using some of the tactics you outlined.

Nicole Reino
Marketing | Team Mercury | DaVita

Hello Audrey.  I attended the WBLF this year and saw you speak.  I have seen you at this same conference a few other times and have enjoyed your presentations enormously. 

Renée J. Conner, QPA, EA, QKA

Audrey's Books

The Gender Communication Handbook –
Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women


The Gender Communication Handbook is for anyone who works with the opposite sex. If you are a part of a management team, in HR, or develop corporate training, this book is a comprehensive guide filled with smart advice, extensive research, self-assessments, and compelling true-to-life case studies. More

Code Switching –
How to Talk so Men will Listen

Code Switching

Code Switching  is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. - More

You Don’t Say – Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes


You Don't Say is the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication — and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve — or impair — our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace.

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"


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