February 2011 Newsletter
Smart Talk
Who is Audrey?

Media Blitz

Big Boys Don’t Cry….Or Do They?

As many of you know Psychology Today asked me to be the gender expert for their blog. Below is a response I received to my blog on gender differences and crying:

The sign in the locker room at work seems relevant, saying "men have feelings too it's just that nobody gives a f####". Crying has more limited rewards for men...especially from women. It is not of much use in relationships especially. Also, men and women tear up for fear anger and happiness. Dry faces are very rare at funerals, weddings,, graduations. Is crying a wet eye or being wracked by sobs?

And here is another one:

From what I understand emotional tears tend to contain higher amounts of prolactin. Women tend to produce more prolactin than men (once they enter puberty, particularly during menstruation cycles). So I thought that was a big factor as to why women cry more than men.

I am not disagreeing that socialization plays a part because I have heard men say they would be ashamed to cry. But I think there is a biological component to the sex difference as well.

I think both responses bring up interesting points. In response to the first blog, I believe it is true that “crying has more limited rewards for men.” And they often receive an equally negative reaction from both women and men. This is a testimony to how entrenched and rigid sex role prescriptions can be. Highly defined contexts like funerals (the standing joke is someone has to die to get a man to cry) make crying socially acceptable for both sexes. Finally, crying, as I define it, are tears rolling down the face. Yes, people can swell up with watery eyes but many can get “control” and the tears don’t leave the eye.

Let’s take John Boehner for example. On election night, Boehner cried when he addressed his supporters after the Republican victory, which gave the party control of Congress. He cried during a Sixty Minutes’ interview and the episodes go on. John Boehner’s latest public crying episode has gotten Capitol Hill talking, and some are speculating that there’s a simple explanation for the waterworks: He’s drunk. So we have a need to explain why a man cries, he has to be drunk! No one would ever make that assumption about a woman crying. For women we can possibly assume she is “hormonal.” If she is younger she must be PMS or older, she is menopausal. For both sexes we often view tears as a sign of weakness. Nothing has changed!


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Audrey Nelson PhD.
is an international trainer, key-note speaker, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication strategies.

You can reach Audrey at audrey@audreynelson.com
or at 303.448.1800 O -  303-448-1801 Fax - 303.448.1802 Cell

Have you checked out Audrey’s blog on

Did you know that Audrey was invited by the editors at Psychology Today to participate as a gender communication expert on the Psychology Today blog . Check it out!
The Crying Game


.arrowFebruary 23, 2011 Luncheon 11:30 - 1:30PM
Investment:  Member: $32 Nonmember $42
Location: Red Lion Hotel Denver Southeast, 3200 S. Parker Road, Aurora, CO 80014
Program:  From Bell Bottoms to Khakis: Managing the Generation Mix pre sented by Audrey Nelson -

March 2011
Audrey was recently interview by Glamour Magazine regarding how men and women can communicate about money issues from dating to marriage. - Look for her in the March issue

arrowMarch 9, 2011 from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm
Denver Tech Center Colorado Business Women
Code switching: How to talk so Men will Listen
Maggiano’s DTC

.arrowMarch 16, 2011 - 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
Women’s Chamber of Commerce -
Maggianos Restaurant
500 16th St Ste 150, Pavilions Mall - Denver, CO

arrowMarch 9, 2011 from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm
Denver Tech Center Colorado Business Women
Code switching: How to talk so Men will Listen
Maggiano’s DTC - 7401 South Clinton Street - Englewood, CO

arrowApril 20, 2011 - Noon to 1:00 pm
CBRE/TenWest - Lunch n Learn
10155 Westmoor Dr - Westminster
He Speaks, She Speaks: What Different Things They Say
Book signing Code Switching

Look for Audrey’s
New 2011 Website!
In January Audrey will unveil her new and improved website. Guaranteed to make you take notice and gain access to everything you need to know about Audrey and her services.

Audrey’s webinar January 20th on Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen  for Inventyourfuture with corporate sponsors: Hitachi, Intel, Symantec, and eBay was a huge success with over 300 participant lines and international participation from Germany, Ireland, Iindia, and Costa Rica. Because several people usually share lines, the audience was approximately 500.

Audrey has been asked to be the guest expert on communication and
Code Switching
bi-monthly for FOX Denver KWGN.  www.kwgn.com

January 2011
Crying: The Gender Double Standard
Everyday Talk Show CW2
KWGN-TV, Denver
December 2010
Communication Strategies for New Year Resolutions
Everyday Talk Show CW2
KWGN-TV, Denver
December 2010
Raising Girls to take Risks
Everyday Talk Show CW2
KWGN-TV, Denver
Click here for segment

November 2010
How to deal with men behaving badly

Everyday Talk Show CW2
KWGN-TV, Denver

Click here for segment

October 2010
Dating Etiquette

Everyday Talk Show CW2
KWGN-TV, Denver
Click here for segment

September 2010
How to Deal with People You Hate

Everyday Talk Show CW2
KWGN-TV, Denver
Click here for segment

Audrey Goes to Korea for Gender Consultation

Click here for complete story and pictures
Audrey was asked by the State Department to be a guest speaker and consultant for the US Embassy in Seoul, South Korea. She addressed a variety of groups including the Korean Supreme Court, The National Assembly, Korean media and a variety of women advocacy groups.

Get your copy!

Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen
Claire Brown Ph.D. and Audrey Nelson Ph.D.
Penguin Group-Alpha Books
ISBN 978-1-59257-926-6


Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. It teaches using true stories and case studies, while providing valuable “code-switching” tips to help women gain and strengthen credibility and make a greater impact on the job

Code Switching:
How to Talk so
Men will Listen -
book trailer

Click here to view
What People are saying about Audrey

Audrey’s feedback from the webinar for Inventyourfuture on Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen

What one learning did you take away from today’s webinar?
I liked the early specific example of how you respond of your idea is ignored and then someone says pretty much the same idea later on. How you could deal with it was a really great approach I'll use if that happens to me again. (Team Lead, Apple)

To beware softening requests ‐ sometimes we don't realize we've done it until after the fact. (MarketingManager, Symantec)

I learned that the "mode" I should be in most of the time should be assertive. That was a very good take away. This was a great topic! I think I want to listen to the replay because I suspect that I will pick up another good tip. (Project Manager, HP)

How to handle interruptions in meetings, and how to take back the floor (Finance Dept, Apple) It was pretty enlightening and made me feel more conscious when dealing with women at work or elsewhere.

Also some of the issues discussed apply in general and not just to women (in multicultural setup as the speaker mentioned). Not to be taken for granted at work place, and standing up for yourself, and speak up when it matters. (Functional Analyst, Apple)

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"