June 2010 Newsletter
Smart Talk
Who is Audrey?

Catch Audrey in the Act

Letting it all Hang Out: Watch Out for Emotional Predators

We all know an inappropriate self disclosure when we hear one because it is painfully uncomfortable to be on the receiving end not knowing what to do or how to continue the conversation. Too much information too fast and, often, in the wrong place or context like a routine Monday morning staff meeting. Occasionally, when I am conducting a training session, someone will make a revealing self disclosure and the audience becomes frozen. What do we do now that this bomb has been dropped?  Where do I go from here?
One aspect of people who make these disclosures can be manipulative and predatory. It is human nature to mirror the level of intimacy revealed by someone else; responding in kind. So now that we have joined them in sharing personal and sometimes guarded secrets, they have the goods. They are not so innocent but emotional brokers who now posses information about you and can use it for manipulative purposes. It is a tactic referred to as forced teaming-an ill-advised intimacy. They can take this information and use it to exploit, humiliate, or control. Be aware, it can happen in a nano second at the water cooler.

Some preventative tips:

  1. The workplace is generally (some of us have friends for years at work we know we can trust-but not many!) not the arena to reveal private, personal information.
  2. Resist the urge to disclose when someone else is revealing an intimate anecdote.
  3. If you feel uncomfortable with what a person is sharing, follow that gut response. You can ask them if they are sure they want to continue or suggest the hall way at work is not the place to have this conversation
  4. Observe the person and how they use the information they have acquired about others.

Audrey Nelson PhD. is an international trainer, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitablility thorough winning communication strategies

You can reach Audrey at audrey@audreynelson.com
or 303-448-1800

audrey Nelson
Did you know that Audrey was invited by the editors at Psychology Today to participate as a gender communication expert on the Psychology Today blog . Check it out!

Where in the world is Audrey?

Open to the public:

Business and Professional Women 91st Annual State Convention
Saturday June 5th
Hilton Garden Inn - Highlands Ranch
2010 State Convention Chair 
O: 720-344-2153
Cell: 303-229-9935
Visit Audrey at her Code Switching booth

Coming soon

Look for upcoming article Four Step Plan: Code Switching Tips - Phoenix Womens Magazine - July-August 2010 -

Did you miss one of the
Smart Talk Columns?

Browse the archives of Audrey’s 2006 to date
Smart Talk Columns on her web!
Simply visit www.audreynelson.com
and click on “Newsletters.”

arrowAudrey conducted an interview on Code Switching  with:
VIA Times CPRTV Television, Chicago- Channel 25 (5/18/10)
The only ethnic broadcast  media founded and managed by a woman, Veronica Leighton, in North America,
VIA TIMES (VT) & CHICAGO PHILIPPINE REPORTS TV (CPRTV) serves the Filipino/Asian/Hispanic communities in Chicago

arrowEveryday 10 am Talk Show (5/27/10)
KDVR/KWGN-TV - Channel 2
“Women in the Headlines: Every Woman Can Learn Watching Clinton, Bullock, and Pelosi.

arrowDr. Audrey Nelson, Code Switching (5/19/10)
ABC 7, WLS-TV Chicago -
ABC Channel 7 is the Midwest flagship of the ABC television network and home of the Oprah Winfrey Show

arrowDr. Audrey Nelson, Code Switching (5/18/10)
FOX Chicago, WFLD-TV -
Featured Audrey in a segment titled “Sex and the Salary.”
Audrey discussed the reasons why women make 77.89 cents to the dollar mane make and what women can do to level the playing the field.

arrow Outlet: “Up Close and Personal” radio show (5/17/10)
Outlet Contact: Bonnie D Graham
Topic: Language of Relationships in 2010 -

Audrey is featured as a Men’s Health magazine “expert advisor” in the May and June 2010 issues.“Talk Your Way Into Her Heart” May issue - click here to view article


arrowArmin Brott alias “Mr. Dad”, is a Family & Parenting Columnist from the Bay area. He is also the host of the weekly radio show “Positive Parenting”. He interviewed Audrey April 13,2010 regarding the chapter  From the Playground to the Bedroom from Code Switching.

arrowABC San Francisco ” View from the Bay” (2/24/10)
Code Switching -

arrowCleavage at Work? A New Dress Code for Professional Women (2/9/10) - Mills College - San Francisco -

It's here!

Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen
Claire Brown Ph.D. and Audrey Nelson Ph.D.
Penguin Group-Alpha Books
ISBN 978-1-59257-926-6


Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. It teaches using true stories and case studies, while providing valuable “code-switching” tips to help women gain and strengthen credibility and make a greater impact on the job

Code Switching:
How to Talk so
Men will Listen -
book trailer

Click here to view
What People are saying about Audrey

United States Forest Service Northern Regional University
Code switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen

Evaluations (1 Disagree to 5 Agree)
Lesson Objectives were clearly stated     5.0
Lesson Objectives were met                   5.0
Level of difficulty was appropriate and kept me challenged 5.0
Quality of handouts    5.0
Presentation Methods were effective  5.0
Please provide overall rating of course  5.0
Fantastic class! Thanks for bringing Audrey to us!
Course is great. Need more than one day. I need this information.
I would like more time to hear more.

I hope you come back and speak again, I really enjoyed when you spoke at one of our luncheons a few years ago.  In fact, I still have your He Speaks/She Speaks card on my desk and since then I have purchased one of your books for further reading on the subject.  It has totally helped me as I work with engineers and that is primarily a male-dominant field.

Lara J. Makinen, PHR
Human Resources Coordinator | PBS&J

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"