Sticks and Stones:
When Words Hurt
Something Said in a Moment of Anger will Cause a Thousand Sorrows
Chinese Proverb

Do you ever go home at night and reflect,” I can’t believe I said that!” Then you go back to the office and attempt damage control. At the Monday morning staff meeting you announce to everyone,” Sorry, I just wasn’t myself”
Well, who were you? Everyone politely responds, “That’s okay.” But guess what, it goes on permanent file. Its human nature, people remember and there is no going back.
Here are some tips to help us in moments of high emotion or anger.
First, observe and accept your emotions. What are your unmet needs?

Secondly, “go to the balcony.” A metaphor employed by William Ury in his best selling book, The Power of a Positive No (2006).
This concept is the same as a time out. Sounds like this:

• “Lets take a break.”
• “I need to make a call and will be back in 15 minutes.”
• “I need to consult with my team.”
• “Let me think about this and I will get back to you.”

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Few things in life are as strong as a clear intention.” Intentions spring from your interests, needs and values. So ask, yourself, whether to say something and how to say it. Be clear about your intent and then decide whether and how you will act on it.

We are all more transparent than we think. If you are truly acting out of concern, people will sense it. However, if the motivation is to prove you are right or payback for example, no words can disguise it. Be true to your word. Choose them carefully to preserve the relationship.