Rainy Day People

...Terry McMillan, born in Port Huron, Michigan (1951). Her novel Waiting to Exhale (1992) was one of the first novels ever published about the lives of affluent African-Americans, and it spent 38 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list. When asked why she's so successful, McMillan said, "I don't write about victims. They just bore me to death. I prefer to write about somebody who can pick themselves back up and get on with their lives."In my seminar on how to deal with difficult people, Ouch! That hurts! Dealing with Difficult People I profile 7 different difficult types we all encounter at work as well as home. It seems everyone has a victim at work. Nothing is good in their life and everything happens to them. They dislike their own children, think the boss is mean, never liked the family dog and think their job is to demanding and the list goes on. You know, the “ain’t it awful” person. They take no responsibility or accountability for their choices and believe life is not fair! They whine and complain. Everyone can have a pity party for a day or two when life throws you a curve ball. An unfair promotion, lack of recognition, a boss who plays favorites, and the list goes on. But it is the resilient folks that “pick themselves up and get on with their lives.”
Here are some tips for dealing with the victim:

1. Do not become their coffee-drinking buddy. They want an audience for their misery.
2. Ask them what action they are going to take for their current dilemma of the week.
3. Challenge them not to whine about anything for a week. See how it makes them feel?
4. Don’t show pity. They often want others to feel sorry for them (another payoff they are looking for).
5. Don’t offer help. There is none. Anything you do will not be recognized.

Gift Ideas
So the holidays are around the corner. Treat yourself or someone else you care about to my two top picks for 2007. I am so impressed with both these books, I am revamping my “Art of Conscious Communication: A Talent for a Technical Age” and “Victors without Victims: Managing Conflict for a Positive Outcome” to incorporate the techniques and strategies presented by the respective authors.
Great gift ideas:

• Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships
• William Ury, The Power of Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes.