November 2006 Newsletter
Audrey Nelson Ph.D, Inc

Smart Talk

Ouch! That Hurts:
The Three Golden Rules for Dealing with Difficult People

When I am upset I count to ten. When I am very upset, I count to one hundred.
Thomas Jefferson

One of the most challenging communication encounters is dealing with difficult people. It is hard work on our part and requires exceptional emotional control.
If you are like many of the people who have attended my training programs, it feels like we have no options or choices when we face the office bully at the water cooler. This thought pattern could begin a spiral down, out of control fall into victim hood. Remember you always have choices when encountering difficult people. I am going to present some “Golden Rules” to keep in mind when dealing with difficult people that will empower you.
Ouch! That Hurts: Dealing with Difficult People

Golden Rule #3:
Doing nothing is doing something.

This rule is aimed at you avoiders of conflict! In both my training and consulting I have observed people who get into magical thinking. This is a form of avoidance. They escape into a fantasyland of wishing away the difficult person. It takes many forms. “Oh, maybe they will get promoted and go to another department” “I think they might go for early retirement” She just had a baby, maybe she will be nicer now” And the list goes on.
Remember, sometimes the payoff for the difficult person may be they suffer no consequences. Doing nothing maybe perpetuating and encouraging their dysfunctional behavior. You could be a part of the problem by doing nothing. When difficult people experience consequences they do not want, their behavior stops.

Heads Up!
Look for Audrey’s article in the October Colorado Human Resource Association newsletter “Ouch! That Hurts: Dealing with Difficult People”

Business Altitudes Magazine January 2007 issue of the Denver Metro Chamber will feature an article by Audrey “Your Generation or Mine: Managing the Generation Mix.” It addresses the primary four-generation mixes that compose the workforce: Silent, Baby-boomer, Generation X and Generation Y. Learn their key characteristics, what matters to them and how to work with them.

Open to the Public

U of Colorado Business School, Boulder

Thursday, Nov 16th at 7 pm
Fleming Law building room 241.
"He Speaks,She Speaks"

No charge and no registration necessary

Boulder Area Rental Housing Association
"He Speaks, She Speaks:
What Different Things They Say"

Thursday, Dec 14th 11:30 -1:00pm
Spice of Life Events Center
(Flatirons Country Club)

5706 Arapahoe Rd, Boulder

December Event:
“When Will I Pick Up My Dry Cleaning?”

Presenter: Dr. Audrey Nelson

This program is an interactive session that deals head on with “real life” case studies from Fortune 50 companies including one of the top 4 public accounting firms to one of the largest telecommunication companies in the world. Straight from the mouths of women are their stories and anecdotes of why they left their organization and what management had to say about it.

Hear “real life” solutions to tackling these problems of retention and culture change!

December 5, 2006
7:00 AM to 9:00 AM

116 Inverness Drive East,
Englewood Colorado, 80112
Main Floor Conference Room
Free Parking Upper Level of Parking Garage

Space is limited to 35, RSVP is required to attend this event.

What People are saying about Audrey

I want to thank you again for the absolutely wonderful and informative presentation you gave to the Boulder BPW members. The feedback we have received is all very positive and really made an impact. We are lucky to have a treasure like you in our community and truly appreciate your time.

Wendy Reynolds
President, Boulder Business and Professional Women

It is Kim Ledger, I was at the FCS training in Spokane last week. I was sharing with my team leader how great you were. I told him several examples of the seminar. It was then I realized that he was getting and idea!
So now I am leading a 20 min session on communication, to our 20 person team… Background:
Our sales team is spread over 4 states we get together three times a year with our full team, which is mostly support staff in on main office, that work together daily. We are meeting the night before just as sales.
I thought this would be a good time to bring some awareness to the effect communication can have on us. Especially those of us that are spread out and rely on e-mail , cell phone ect... I thought your information was great, and I loved that you kept things moving for us.
Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

Kim Ledger
Country Home Loan Officer
Farm Credit Services of America

Congrats Audrey! As usual you are Awesome Audrey. We are so pleased to have you on our LDP faculty and an educational partner within the Farm Credit system. Thanks for always giving your best for this program and to our people.

Warm regards,
Cindy Knutson
Farm Credit Council Services

Thank you so much for presenting your program and coming to BPW. I hope everything went smoothly on your trip the next day.

The women could not stop talking about your program and the superb information your shared. The feedback from the evening was just excellent!
We also have some members that have personal situations presently that I hope will read your book, perhaps contract for personal coaching, and address their situations. The timing of your program at BPW was excellent.

As a BPW sister, you are welcome any time and we hope you will want to visit again for a monthly program in 2007. My sister and girlfriend received their books this week as birthday gifts - they are ecstatic! I did not buy one for myself and have it signed so would love to take care of this when you have time. I have a little something for you as well, so let me know when you might have some time in your schedule for coffee. I would much
rather provide this in person.

Audrey, our paths shall continue to cross for this I am certain.
All my best,
Celia Krebs

Two minutes into the presentation I knew this was going to be the best class I’ve ever taken! Love your teaching style, tone, personal touch and how incredibly charismatic you are. Fantastic advice, content and observations. Love it. You were born to do this!

Jodi Lemons
Staff RN
Ambulatory Treatment Unit
Stanford Hospital

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"