Ouch! That Hurts:
The Three Golden Rules for Dealing with Difficult People

When I am upset I count to ten. When I am very upset, I count to one hundred.
Thomas Jefferson

...One of the most challenging communication encounters is dealing with difficult people. It is hard work on our part and requires exceptional emotional control. If you are like many of the people who have attended my training programs, it feels like we have no options or choices when we face the office bully at the water cooler. This thought pattern could begin a spiral down, out of control fall into victim hood. Remember you always have choices when encountering difficult people. I am going to present some “Golden Rules” to keep in mind when dealing with difficult people that will empower you.
Golden Rule #2: The best reinforcement is intermittent reinforcement.
What keeps a gambler gambling? Sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. But the experience of winning keeps them coming back. The same principle works for difficult people. If they know they can occasionally win, they will try it again.
To disarm difficult people you must be persistent and consistent in your behavior. Sometimes we may be having a bad day and are just plain worn out. I think some difficult people have radar for your fatigue and vulnerability. They know this is their opportunity and will take advantage. A perfect example is our own children. They know our moods and will hit us up on requests that we would normally never acquiesce to but we give in because we are too tired to fight it.

*The other Golden Rules will appear in Nov newsletter.