Oct 2006 Newsletter
Audrey Nelson Ph.D, Inc

Smart Talk

Ouch! That Hurts:
The Three Golden Rules for Dealing with Difficult People

When I am upset I count to ten. When I am very upset, I count to one hundred.
Thomas Jefferson

...One of the most challenging communication encounters is dealing with difficult people. It is hard work on our part and requires exceptional emotional control. If you are like many of the people who have attended my training programs, it feels like we have no options or choices when we face the office bully at the water cooler. This thought pattern could begin a spiral down, out of control fall into victim hood. Remember you always have choices when encountering difficult people. I am going to present some “Golden Rules” to keep in mind when dealing with difficult people that will empower you.
Golden Rule #2: The best reinforcement is intermittent reinforcement.
What keeps a gambler gambling? Sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. But the experience of winning keeps them coming back. The same principle works for difficult people. If they know they can occasionally win, they will try it again.
To disarm difficult people you must be persistent and consistent in your behavior. Sometimes we may be having a bad day and are just plain worn out. I think some difficult people have radar for your fatigue and vulnerability. They know this is their opportunity and will take advantage. A perfect example is our own children. They know our moods and will hit us up on requests that we would normally never acquiesce to but we give in because we are too tired to fight it.

*The other Golden Rules will appear in Nov newsletter.

Open to the Public

Colorado Human Resource Association Monthly Luncheon
Ouch! That Hurts:
Dealing with Difficult People

Marriot Denver Tech Center
4900 South Syracuse
Wednesday, Oct 18th
11:30 am to 1:30 pm

Boulder County
(for Boulder City employees only)
The Power of Positive Discipline
Tuesday, Oct 10th
8:30 am – 4:00 pm
Pearl St Training Room, Boulder

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I attended your presentation ...and enjoyed your material. You are a dynamic presenter with a great message. Having just started reading your book, I can already tell that it is both interesting and informative; this seems to be a rare occurrence in literature anymore!

Tiffany Hill, MBA, PsyD

Your presentation on Gender Communication was well received by the attendees, earning a score of 8.9 on a scale of 10! The following are comments from the attendees:
“Audrey Nelson was outstanding. I don’t think I have heard a Ph.D. who was so grounded. I’d like to hear her for longer sessions.”

On behalf of the California District Attorneys Association, thanks!
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