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April 2015 Newsletter		audreynelson.com \| thegendercommunicationhandbook.com \|codeswitching

Who is Audrey?

Audrey Live

Audrey Nelson PhD. is an international trainer, key-note speaker, consultant and author who works with organizations to increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication strategies.

You can reach Audrey at audrey@audreynelson.com
or at 303.448.1800 O - 303-448-1801 F - 303.448.1802 C www.audreynelson.com

Smart Talk

Anger is Not Bad

Anger is a normal, natural human emotion and not something to tuck away and be ashamed of. In fact, any person who has boundaries, will experience anger. If you have a sense of self and self respect, there will be people and instances when your boundaries will be tested. Unfortunately, when we are in the heat of anger, we may not be on our best behavior and, many times we become a hot reactor. "How dare they do this to me!" "She can't talk to me like that!" Ask yourself, when you are angry are you likely to attack the person by putting them down?

Here is a simple rule: Focus on "I" messages which should be honest and clear.

Instead of: You make me angry, you're judging and rejecting me or you're blaming everything on me, try: I am angry. I feel rejected, I want a respectful relationship.

Remember no one makes you angry. You make yourself angry. Own the emotion.
Take responsibility for it. People who care enough, confront the anger. Apathy often sets in when we don't address the anger. We give up. Or we may result in indirect expressions of anger, like passive aggressive behavior.

Did you miss one of the Smart Talk Columns?

Browse the archives of Audrey’s 2006 to date- Smart Talk Columns on her web!
Simply visit www.audreynelson.com and click on “Newsletters.”

Audrey's Travels

Audrey recently presented Smart Talk: Women and Credibility to Newmont Mining, one of the world's largest gold producers.

Sound Bites

The Crying Game: The Pre-Cuing Technique

Women learn pretty early on in life that men can get uncomfortable when faced with a crying woman, and will often do just about anything to stem the flow of tears. His level of discomfort sky rockets as the sobs increase. He learns he has to keep that box of tissues handy anytime a potentially delicate issue or conflict has to be addressed. watch

Society of Human Resource Management State Conference
Wednesday, September 30 2015
10:30 am to 11:45 am
Keystone Resort
Audrey's program,
What Organizations Need to Know About Women Leaning In: Women and Leadership
was competitively selected for SHRM-CO conference.
More information and register: www.coshrm.org

Audrey will be traveling to six countries presenting her new topic
Women in Leadership: Communication, Credibility and Power

Click here to learn more

Audrey 's Blog

psy

Have you checked out Audrey’s blog?

Emotional Intelligence: Do Women Have an Edge?

Click for article

Did You Know Audrey began her training career with the largest seminar company in the US?

Twenty eight years ago Audrey was making dinner and received a call at home from Fred Pryor, the founder of Fred Pryor Seminars. He had sent out "talent scouts" to various conferences for the purpose of recruiting speakers and Audrey was discovered when she was a speaker for a Denver women's conference. Fred hired Audrey to design, train other speakers and present two women's seminars. One was titled, "Taking Charge." Today Fred Pryor is the largest public seminar company in the US.

What People are saying about Audrey

Hi Audrey,

Thank you for your wonderful presentation today. I have received numerous comments about how entertaining and informative it was. The office is all “abuzz” with talk:

“Audrey was a great presenter, and I related to so much of what she said . . . I recognize it right now, today (in the office) and at home.” (man)

“You all did a great job today and Audrey was perfect. I believe everyone will take something helpful away from today's discussion!” (man – one of Newmont’s top executives)

“Nice job to you and the team today – I found Audrey to be a great guest speaker and we are all still laughing at her honesty!” (woman)
“I haven’t laughed that hard in so long . . . she was so right on in every single thing she said.” (women)

Obviously, the women laugh because they recognize what you say to be so true. Everyone LOVED it, Audrey, and I’d like to see what I can do to get you back. I hope you get lots of e-mails from the Newmont crowd and some book sales! I’ll send you more comments as I get them.

Best regards,

Margaret
newmont
Margaret Brock
Ethics Counsel
Legal Department

Hi Audrey,
I thoroughly enjoyed your talk today, and yes I am male. Part of my story is being raised partly by a single mother during the 1970’s, so maybe I am more sensitive to women’s issues than the average Joe. Thank you for adding more meaning to the term Androgyny than just the physical attributes of a person’s appearance for me; and the positive spin. One of my hobbies is the practice of Tai chi, and we speak of yin and yang. Yin is usually thought of as feminine and Yang masculine. I have learned to think of both as strengths, just different kinds. I have NEVER thought of women as the “weaker” sex because of the examples that I grew up with, namely my mother and grandmother, who are stories in themselves. Thank you for broadening my perspective a little today. I hope to read at least one of your books someday, and look forward to reading your newsletter or blog that I put my email on the list for.
Take care,

John Huddle
Senior Technician
Newmont Metallurgical Services

Hi Dr. Nelson,
I really enjoyed your presentation yesterday at the Fairlane Club. So many things I knew; so many things I did not know. Also, I exited without leaving my Session Feedback Form - it is attached. I also failed to ask if you would be providing any CE for yesterday's most valuable session.
Thank you again. I will definitely update my skills. I especially appreciated your comments about e-mail.

Grace

Audrey's Books

The Gender Communication Handbook – Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women
	The Gender Communication Handbook is for anyone who works with the opposite sex. If you are a part of a management team, in HR, or develop corporate training, this book is a comprehensive guide filled with smart advice, extensive research, self-assessments, and compelling true-to-life case studies. More

Code Switching – How to Talk so Men will Listen
	Code Switching is a hands-on tool for everyday use at the office. It is a practical resource with how-to steps to help businesswomen conquer the communication nuances between men and women in the workplace. This book explores the gender impact on business talk. - More

You Don’t Say – Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes
	You Don't Say is the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication — and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve — or impair — our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace.

"Audrey's Top 4 CD Communication Hits"

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