Tethered to Technology:
The Gender Twist - Part 2

I knew a male manager who disclosed the impact an e-mail he sent had on a long-time female employee. He said he was going fast and forgot to start with “Dear” and simply wrote two sentences about the due date and logistics of a project. Later in the day, he encountered this woman and she asked him if he was mad at her. He was perplexed because his intent was to be goal oriented and get the business done, not to “sugarcoat” his request. For her, she wanted only one word: “Dear.” Or a “thanks.” That would have taken care of the “relational” dimension of the e-mail that she needed
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I experience a distinct style difference in my e-mail correspondence with men and women. Men’s e-mails, like their conversations, tend to be short, abbreviated, and to the point. A few of our favorite e-mails sent by men are one or two words: yup, Roger that, okay, done, no, yes, and ditto.

Often men’s e-mails do not begin with “dear” or sign off with a “sincerely” or “best regards,” which are more pervasive in women’s e-mails. Women’s e-mails often contain an acknowledgement of appreciation, a “thank you” or “please.”

Another gender aspect of e-mails reveals women as more processoriented, whereas men are more goal oriented. Men are even more to-the-point in e-mail than in speech! While both are focused on the same end result, each will express status differently: she describing the process and he describing in a direct manner the end result or goal. A female attorney shared an illustration of this difference in describing a woman’s and man’s e-mail about the same case.

Her format: The process
I spoke with the SIU investigator to let him know that Mr. Insured has “lawyered up,” and the EUOs have been postponed. He told me that he received a certified letter “purported” to be from Mr. Insured, asking for copies of reports. He forwarded the letter to Ms. Client to forward to us for handling.

After I spoke with Mr. Investigator, I was wandering through Parties and realized that Mr. Independent Adjuster was the person I was supposed to contact, not Mr. Investigator. I advised Mr. Independent Adjuster of the “lawyering up” and Mr. Insured’s request for postpone of 30 days. Mr. Independent Adjuster may be in the hospital in 30 days. He has a suspected aorta aneurysm and will be having open heart surgery. He will keep us advised.

Court reporter has been advised of postponement.

His format: The goal

Mission accomplished.

Adapted from Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen

Hello Audrey:

A number of years ago you were a speaker at one of our national conferences for our consultants.  It was educational, enlightening and fun.
We are having our next annual meeting towards the end of June at the Westin Hotel in Avon Colorado and I would like to discuss your availability and possible topics to address at that meeting.  
 
Joe Costello, CFP, CSSC
EPS Settlement Group

Thank you for your informative, fun and upbeat speaking contribution to our DTC Colorado Business Women  group last week Audrey -- you were wonderful!  Lots of positive feedback from our organization.

Melissa Wilson
Greenwood Village Chamber

Dear Audrey,
What a wonderful speaker you are and your talk yesterday for the Colorado Women’s Chamber inspired me to want to take one of your classes!! I’d love to hear you lecture in a classroom as you have so much wonderful knowledge to share! Wish my grown-up daughters could take the classes with me!!

Anne Vorderbruggen
Sr. Admin Assistant | Plan Sponsor Services
TIAA-CREF | Financial Services for the Greater Good