What You Don’t Say: The Critical Element in Building
just picked up the latest Daniel Goleman book, Social Intelligence:
The New Science of Human Relationships (Bantam Book, October
Both you and I know building rapport is critical in building business
contacts, closing the sale, getting the job and receiving high
ratings as a manager! Goleman outlines the necessary “ingredients”
for building rapport. According to Goleman, the role of nonverbals
is instrumental in creating rapport. Below is an outline of the
necessary and critical components to this lifeline for not only
business but our personal life as well. When people are in rapport,
they can be more creative together and more efficient in making
Below is a summary of what it takes to build rapport according
attention. Shared attention is the first essential
ingredient. Two people attend to what the other says and does.
Mutual empathy. Both partners experience being
experienced. Be fully present.
primarily through tone of voice and facial expression. Nonverbal
messages can matter more than what we say!
Lacking coordination will feel uncomfortable, with mistimed
responses or awkward pauses. People fidget or freeze. Such mismatches
torpedo rapport. For example, social psychologists have found
again and again that the more a two people naturally make coupled
moves-simultaneous, at a similar tempo, or otherwise coordinated-the
greater their positive feelings.
read these, reflect what percentage is communicated nonverbally.
Remember, it is what you don’t say that means a lot.
Audrey was just competitively selected to present “Go Home
and Put on Some Clothes! Has Casual Friday Gone Over the Top? For
the Staying Out of the Courtroom Track at the Colorado Society
of Human Resource Management conference Sept
5 -7 in Keystone.
the "Balance" section - Audrey's feature article -
He says, she says: Communication between the sexes can be
in the World is Audrey?"
March 12, 2007
He Speaks, She Speaks:
What Different Things They Say
National Association of Women MBAs
Fleming Law Building CU, Boulder
March 13, 2007
8:30 am- 4:00 pm
Boulder County Employees Only
March 22, 2007
Colorado Human Resource Association
Diversity Focus Group
Go Home and Put on Some
Clothes: When the Generations Collide at Work
– 1:00 pm
CSU Downtown Denver
410 17th Street, Suite 1400
(corner of 17th and Tremont)
Claire Damken Brown, Ph.D., CHRA Diversity PDG Chair Damken Brown
and Associates, Inc., www.DamkenBrown.com
Home and Put on Some Clothes:
When the Generations Collide
This program addresses the collision of dress codes between the
generations. Although body art is common in college communities,
twenty-somethings who adorn themselves with multiple piercing
might find themselves on the wrong side of corporate dress codes.
And then there are tattoos…
Guidelines, case studies, and recommendations will be provided.
Here is a warm up!
The Pincushion Syndrome: Generation X and Y Express Themselves!
Body “art” doesn’t always “work.”
A crucial proactive measure for all organizations is to have a
specific and detailed punch list of dress code and appearance
violations. Few companies have this in place. Consequently, they
are often creating more problems and potentially embarrassing
situations as well as driving customers and clients away! Generation
X and Y have created interesting trends in appearance and they
bring it to work with them. They are not pleased to hear that
employees give up some First Amendment Rights when they come to
work. However an employer can dictate a standard of appearance
and a dress code.
Questions? Learn what policies other companies have in place and
what you can do!
27, 28 and 29
Victors without Victims:
Managing Conflict for a Positive Outcome 27th
Please Don’t Go: Mentoring for Keeps 28th
The Art of Conscious Communication 29th
United States Forest Service