When Words Hurt
Something Said in a
Moment of Anger will Cause a Thousand Sorrows
Do you ever go home at
night and reflect,” I can’t believe I said that!”
Then you go back to the office and attempt damage control. At
the Monday morning staff meeting you announce to everyone,”
Sorry, I just wasn’t myself”
Well, who were you? Everyone politely responds, “That’s
okay.” But guess what, it goes on permanent file. Its human
nature, people remember and there is no going back.
Here are some tips to help us in moments of high emotion or anger.
First, observe and accept your
emotions. What are your unmet needs?
“go to the balcony.” A metaphor employed
by William Ury in his best selling book, The Power of
a Positive No (2006).
This concept is the same as a time out. Sounds like this:
take a break.”
need to make a call and will be back in 15 minutes.”
need to consult with my team.”
me think about this and I will get back to you.”
said, “Few things in life are as strong as a clear intention.”
Intentions spring from your interests, needs and values. So ask,
yourself, whether to say something and how
to say it. Be clear about your intent and then decide whether
and how you will act on it.
We are all
more transparent than we think. If you are truly acting out of
concern, people will sense it. However, if the motivation is to
prove you are right or payback for example, no words can disguise
it. Be true to your word. Choose them carefully
to preserve the relationship.