born in Port Huron, Michigan (1951). Her novel Waiting to Exhale
(1992) was one of the first novels ever published about the lives
of affluent African-Americans, and it spent 38 weeks on the New
York Times best-seller list. When asked why she's so successful,
McMillan said, "I don't write about victims. They
just bore me to death. I prefer to write about somebody who can
pick themselves back up and get on with their lives."In my
seminar on how to deal with difficult people, Ouch! That hurts!
Dealing with Difficult People I profile 7 different difficult types
we all encounter at work as well as home. It seems everyone has
a victim at work. Nothing is good in their life and everything happens
to them. They dislike their own children, think the boss is mean,
never liked the family dog and think their job is to demanding and
the list goes on. You know, the “ain’t it awful”
person. They take no responsibility or accountability for their
choices and believe life is not fair! They whine and complain. Everyone
can have a pity party for a day or two when life throws you a curve
ball. An unfair promotion, lack of recognition, a boss who plays
favorites, and the list goes on. But it is the resilient folks that
“pick themselves up and get on with their lives.”
Here are some tips for dealing with the victim:
Do not become their coffee-drinking buddy. They want an audience
for their misery.
Ask them what action they are going to take for
their current dilemma of the week.
Challenge them not to whine about anything for
a week. See how it makes them feel?
Don’t show pity. They often want others
to feel sorry for them (another payoff they are looking for).
Don’t offer help. There is none. Anything
you do will not be recognized.
So the holidays are around the corner. Treat yourself or someone
else you care about to my two top picks for 2007. I am so impressed
with both these books, I am revamping my “Art of Conscious
Communication: A Talent for a Technical Age” and “Victors
without Victims: Managing Conflict for a Positive Outcome”
to incorporate the techniques and strategies presented by the respective
Great gift ideas:
Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships
William Ury, The Power of Positive No: How to Say No and Still
Get to Yes.
in the World is Audrey?"
miss Audrey at the Society of Human Resource Management Conference
in Keystone last month!
TO THE PUBLIC
7:45 am to 9:15 am
Daniels Bldg - 101 Monroe
Victors without Victims:
Managing Conflict for a Positive Outcome
for Audrey quoted in December's issue of
and January's issue of
in to the
Amy Oliver Talk Show
Thursday, Nov 29th 10 am
you miss one of the
Smart Talk Columns?
the archives of Audrey’s 2006-to date Smart Talk Columns on
her web! Simply go to www.audreynelson.com
and click on “Newsletters.”
Don't Say just came out in its 6th language: Russian!
Thank you for a wonderful workshop yesterday. I look forward to
signing up for your next class.
Stanford Hospital and Clinics
I really enjoyed your seminar today, and I feel like the information
you provided has given me perspective on how to manage some tough
job and life issues I'm working on right now. I think the situation
I'm trying to get a handle on is terribly complex and won't be solved
quickly or easily, but I do have some new ideas to bring to the
table. Thank you!
Grassroots Neighborhood Development, LLC
2942 Welton Street
Denver, Colorado 80205