I have developed a list of the “Seven Most Asked Questions” which have been generated by my audiences in my gender communication course “He Speaks,She Speaks: What Different Things They Say.” One of the questions is “Haven’t things Changed? Below is an email I received from a woman with the US Forest Service who had my He Speaks,She Speaks class 15 years ago and again in April 2006. I think she addressed the time it takes for social change and real attitude change. We all certainly know the “politically correct” thing to do. But have attitudes really changed? Or, as you would say to your parents on those long road trips, “Are we there yet?”
What do you think?
Read below this woman’s account.

Dr. Nelson,
Fifteen years ago I took the class He Speaks, She Speaks. It was by far the most important training of any kind that I have ever received. At the time I was both newly married and in a predominately male workforce. Your class not only helped me learn to adjust my communication style which helped me become more effective in the workforce, it brought a great deal of awareness to differences in communication styles between my husband and me. The understanding that came out of your class made what could have been a very painful experience of learning how to effectively communicate with each other not only easier but something we continue to find humor in to this day.

Fifteen years later I’m still in a male dominated workforce, still married and now a mother of a girl and a boy. Having a different perspective on life, I very much enjoyed taking your class again. I found the information about the hormone wash particularly interesting, which could possibly explain some of the differences, I see in myself and in our daughter. I think I got the wash - she did not. I was also fascinated by the information on nature/nurture and where the researchers are with those studies. Just as the first class saved my husband and I from endless frustration, I anticipate that what I learned from this session will save me from much frustration with our children, especially when trying to figure out why some things seem to make sense to my son that would never occur to my daughter. Harvey and I talk a lot about how the kids are so different yet we think we are raising them the same. Yesterday cleared some of that up.

Pam Hergett
Civil Engineer
United States Forest Service